Contents

  1. Foreword by Emma Watson
  2. 1 Undesirable No. 1 or Draco’s First Scrape with the Law
  3. In which an embarrassing teenage episode highlights the difficulty of balancing an ordinary childhood with life on the big screen.
  4. 2 My Muggle Family or Runt of the Pack
  5. In which Tom introduces us to his family: three lively brothers, a patient mum and a playful dad.
  6. 3 Early Auditions or Mother Goose!
  7. In which Tom’s early stage performances leave much to be desired, but he finds his way into professional auditions nonetheless.
  8. 4 The Magic in the Making or James Blond and the Ginger Whisker
  9. In which Tom lands his first big film, rubs shoulders with 007 and endures the first of many dodgy haircuts.
  10. 5 My Brothers Are Already Sick of It or Projectiles at the Premiere
  11. In which Tom’s first experience of the red carpet is overshadowed by his brothers’ antics.
  12. 6 Anna and the King or Clarice and Hannibal
  13. In which Tom travels to Malaysia and embarrasses himself in front of two Hollywood stars.
  14. 7 The Potter Auditions or When Draco Met Hermione
  15. In which Tom lands the role of Draco, despite knowing nothing about Harry Potter, and disses a young Emma Watson.
  16. 8 The Table Read or Kiss Kiss Kiss on the Bum
  17. In which the Potter cast first assemble and Tom receives an inappropriate message from Peeves.
  18. 9 Draco and Darwin or How Malfoy Got His Sneer
  19. In which Tom’s grandfather teaches him how to look down his nose at the Gryffindors.
  20. 10 Undesirable No. 1 (Part 2) or Gregory Goyle and the Exploding Hot Chocolate
  21. In which Tom and his fellow Slytherins really do get up to no good.
  22. 11 A Day on Set or Severus Snape’s Sausage Sandwich
  23. In which Tom takes us on a tour of Leavesden Studios, and Snape gives the Muggles what they want.
  24. 12 Fans or How (Not) to Be a Real Dick
  25. In which Tom is introduced to the crazy world of fandom, and learns to be empathetic to those who see him as part of their lives.
  26. 13 How to Fly a Broomstick or The Wasps and the Wimp
  27. In which Tom encounters difficulties during the first years’ flying lesson, and Madam Hooch comes to the rescue.
  28. 14 The Best of Both Worlds or Broomstick Prick
  29. In which Tom does what he can to keep things real outside of the world of Harry Potter, but doesn’t always find it easy.
  30. 15 Transfiguration Troubles or Maggie and the Millipede
  31. In which a self-pleasuring baboon causes havoc on set, and a free-spirited millipede disrupts a Transfiguration lesson.
  32. 16 Dramione or The Chicken and the Duck
  33. In which Tom talks openly and honestly about his friendship with Emma Watson.
  34. 17 The Weaslebees at Work or Golfing with Gryffindorks
  35. In which Tom shocks a young Rupert Grint, and the Phelps twins come up with a wizard wheeze.
  36. 18 Draco and Harry or Two Sides of the Same Coin
  37. In which Tom talks about his respect for, and friendship with, Daniel Radcliffe.
  38. 19 A Bop on the Nose or Crabbe, Hagrid and the Spooky Rubber Tom
  39. In which Tom introduces us to some of the actors on the Harry Potter set.
  40. 20 A Kind Word from Dumbledore or A Breath of Fresh Air
  41. In which Dumbledore rocks up in his red Ferrari and Tom receives an unorthodox pep talk.
  42. 21 Alan Rickman’s Earlobes or Don’t Tread on My F*cking Cloak!
  43. In which the Death Eaters catch the sharp end of Alan’s tongue, and Tom reveals what he has learned from working with the cream of the crop.
  44. 22 Undesirable No. 1 (Part 3) or The World’s Best/Worst Chaperone
  45. In which Tom’s brother redefines his on-set duties, and Draco dodges yet another bullet.
  46. 23 Malfoy’s Manner or A Hug from Voldy
  47. In which Tom introduces us to his wizarding parents and reflects on working with He Who Must Not Be Named.
  48. 24 All Things Must Pass or The Girl from the Great Hall
  49. In which Potter comes to an end, and a relationship begins.
  50. 25 Beyond the Wand or Lonely in La-La Land
  51. In which Tom heads to Los Angeles and finds that life in Hollywood is not all he expected it to be.
  52. 26 The Ballad of Barney’s Beanery or If I Were a Rich Man
  53. In which Tom hits rock bottom, and three chance encounters on a midnight mission help him learn what is important in life.
  54. 27 Time Well Spent or Versions of Myself
  55. In which Tom acknowledges certain truths about himself, and puts his newfound positivity into practice.
  56. Afterword
  57. In which Tom reflects on the importance of stories, and of one story in particular.
  58. Acknowledgements